Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize