She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
