marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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