She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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