OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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