Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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