Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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