I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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