Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I cockslap morals
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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