id be glad to
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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