Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
