I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
