Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
