just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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