We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
