I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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