Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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