Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
