Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
