let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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