Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
