Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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