you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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