maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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