He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like eating out sand paper
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
