Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
