do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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