Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
