ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
