Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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