"it" just moved
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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