So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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