You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
