Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she peed on how many people?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
