You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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