Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize