Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
