yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
