dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize