farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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