My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
