My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
