Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You smell like a Billy Joel song
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
