i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
