after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
