After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Come share oat with me in your robe
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
