He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
