I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
