jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
His hands were made for my vagina.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
