go do what you do best...puke behind churches
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
