ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
