You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
