false alarm. still invincible.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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