i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
