Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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