guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize