I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
