there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
