There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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