i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
