I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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