Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

(815): View more from Illinois

Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

Fav 13 1216 2125
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.

Fav 13 821 3834
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(217): View more from Illinois

My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

Fav 26 5284 1236
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(519): View more from Ontario

she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

Fav 19 1078 10110
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(862): View more from New Jersey

watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin

(1-862): View more from New Jersey

doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you

Fav 19 1523 3146
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(217): View more from Illinois

dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.

Fav 5 1310 1599
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(913): View more from Kansas

did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.

Fav 10 3669 2024
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(952): View more from Minnesota

What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.

Fav 2 379 137
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(757): View more from Virginia

condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....

Fav 0 105 6
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