My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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