Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
