Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
