woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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