Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
