i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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