I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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